Do you talk about being LGBTQ with your kids?
Earlier this week, a successful beauty blogger here in the Netherlands, Nikkie de Jager (@nikkietutorials), publicly announced that she is transgender. A very brave thing to do -- I watched her coming out video on YouTube and was incredibly impressed by her story and the way she chose to share it. I recommend you to watch it if you haven't seen it yet, there is a lot to learn from Nikkie. It is an inspiring message from a strong roll model, addressing young people who feel insecure, misunderstood or simply not in the right place. It is about acceptance, respect, hearing and understanding each other. About writing your own story, about the power of being yourself -- whoever you are and whatever you are.
Her message is also relevant with regards to the importance of supportive parenting. Nikkie shares that she is intensely grateful for her mother, who always saw and heard, listened and understood. Who respected and supported her in her choices and in her transition. The brave, beautiful and powerful woman sharing her story this week is surely a daughter to be proud of!
Do you talk about being LGBTQ with your kids?
Yesterday during dinner time Sara brought Nikkie's coming out video up; and so we spent a bit of time talking about transgenderism. I thought Pim raised an interesting question -- why did Nikkie refrain from sharing her past for so long? It is, after all, totally acceptable and nothing to be ashamed of?
The answer, we concluded, must be more complex. Nikkie wanted to be known and respected as the person she is right now. She didn't want to influence anyone's opinion of her with the awareness of what happened in her personal history. Something which is understandable, of course. But at the end of her video, it is good to know that Nikkie realises that now that her story is out and in the open and she is free, she is still herself, probably even more so than before.
We have always tried to be straightforward in discussing sex and reproduction with our children, and open about the idea that heterosexuality is just one shade of a wider spectrum of diversity. Both Sara's as Pim's secondary schools are progressive. They encourage their LGBTQ students to feel free to be who they are. I felt it was so nice to notice how easy it was to discuss this news story with our teenagers... How natural it was to talk about the ethical implications as well as the more physical facts of the transition with them.
This new generation is so supportive and open minded! And people like Nikkie, sharing her story in such an inspiring way, help with acceptance and normalisation as well.
xxx Esther